The Cornerstone for an Unshakeable Foundation
The Father’s Love (Phillip and Wilson Fields taken before Wilson's baptism)
What remains after everything is shaken?
We are seeing man's kingdoms collapse, governments are falling, corporations are failing, churches are closing and public schools are indoctrinating children with lies.
What are you standing on? What is your sure foundation?
Where are you getting your strength to persevere?
Malachi prophesied: (Malachi 4:5,6)
Before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord.
And he will turn
The hearts of the fathers to the children,
And the hearts of the children to their fathers...
This could be one of the greatest moments since the beginning of time.
We are staring at the potential launch of the third great awakening.
History will record one of two things depending on how we respond to the proclamation of Christ in John 15:9-17. Jesus possessed a personal power to overcome evil including a face-to-face showdown with the devil, the nonstop persecution of the Pharisees, the betrayal of his own band of brothers, the accusation that he was guilty of our sin, the most horrific death any innocent man has ever experienced and all of his overcoming authority was accomplished because of He was fueled by the FATHER'S LOVE.
Everything Jesus did, was the result of knowing and living from the FATHER'S LOVE FOR HIM AS A SON!
Sons know personal security and they know they have great value because they received the love of their fathers.
It is the biggest need in our lives and many times it is the thing that we lack the most.
Do you personally know the Father's love?
Many people find it easy to love Jesus but struggle to love the Father.
The problem is we relate to our earthly father the same with God the father.
If you had a painful relationship with your dad then you use that experience to create your image of God the Father.
It is important that we learn to know God the father for who he is and that any issues that we have with our earthly father that we don't project those on to God the father.
Why do we struggle to love father God?
3 False beliefs about the father's love
Each one of these lies is based on a fear
The goal: Change the way we react. We cannot change what happened in the past.
How lies become strongholds in our hearts
painful event + deep feelings = reaction (forms a lie)
1. The first false belief:
Love is earned. The sacrifice of Christ was not enough for me to be loved.
The lie I believe about myself:
Being loved is the result of my best efforts to achieve perfection
The fear: (the lie that separates me from the Father)
The fear is I don’t measure up or I don’t have what it takes to be accepted
It is the fear of failure
The thinking:
The fear of failure causes us to feel worthless
We compare ourselves to others and feel we don’t measure up
We believe everything we do is wrong
We say things to ourselves like:
I am a big screw up, I never get anything right,
Why try I am just going to mess it up.
I have to work harder to feel worthy
You are very hard on yourself when you make a mistake or when you sin
You have an excessive need to be right
You see knowledge as power
The father type: the authoritarian father
He was more interested in the love of the law than the law of love
They go beyond the performance-oriented fathers and sternly demand immediate unquestioned obedience from their children
There's no real emotional relationship between father and child the only emotions present are intimidation fear and control
Example:
I would do anything to please my father growing up
He drove a semi for a living
My brothers and I were called upon on many occasions to work on his truck
I can remember standing in the freezing rain to wash the outside of a 40-foot trailer
My dad was driven to the point that he didn't care about our needs
He never said thank you or good job or I love you
When I left home I could still hear his voice in my head telling me that I always did everything halfway
That voice drove me to burn out on more than one occasion
The healing process:
Renew your mind: Work to change your beliefs by asking the Lord to teach you how to see yourself differently.
Meditate on Scripture that says you are a son/daughter accepted by grace.
Make declarations from the following scriptures:
Jeremiah 31:3, John 3:16, John 16:27, Ephesians 3:19, John 17:23
You need to learn to separate our earthly father's unrealistic expectations for you to achieve his love based on your best performances
Forgiveness is essential
We must forgive our earthly fathers for their failures
Example: telling my dad I was proud to be his son
Forgiveness is important because the same issues I blamed my dad for I recognized that I could do the same hurtful things to my kids
Reframe your father’s sin:
I recognized that my dad didn’t have the same opportunities that I did
Ask God to heal memories where the hurt is buried in our hearts
Ask God to love you and speak truth to your pain
Turn to God when you are feeling driven to perform and ask Him to love you
The lesson:
Learn to receive your sonship apart from a performance
Learn to rest in the love of the Father without performing for it
Learn to trust in the finished work of Christ more than your achievements
The key scripture: Mathew 11:28-30
28 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am [a]gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
2. The second false belief:
I believe that God the father is mean, harsh and He is looking for ways to punish me
The lie I believe about myself:
I am unworthy of love and deserve to be punished
The fear:
I will never be loved
The thinking:
You carry around feelings of guilt and shame that seem to never go away no matter what you do.
You think that when bad things happen it’s all your fault.
You blame God and question His love for you.
You ask Why did God let that happen because this fuels your doubt of His trustworthiness
You exaggerate your flaws, your weight, your lack of intelligence, you see yourself as inferior to others
You struggle with addictions
You are a person of extremes
The father type: the abusive father
You experienced verbal, emotional, physical, or sexual abuse from your father.
He beat you down with his voice saying cruel things to you or he literally injured you with his hands.
The worst form of abuse is sexual abuse. He did things to you including everything from inappropriate touch to actual sexual acts.
You may have been told it was all your fault.
You feel a deep sense of shame when you think about your relationship with your father
You feel like he exaggerated your mistakes and used them against you to deliver excessive punishment.
You were shamed verbally as a kid. Your weaknesses were made fun of or used to punish you.
The goal was to control you. You were controlled. It was his way or the highway.
There was no way to fix your mistakes.
You were labeled as a trouble maker, lazy, fat, bad person or something very belittling.
Example:
The BB gun story. My father had a bb gun he used to shoot targets behind our house. He went to use it one day and it was jammed. It was somebody's fault. Everything that broke in our house was blamed on somebody other than my dad. His wrath was painful. He threatened to whip all three of us unless one of my brothers confessed to using and jamming his gun. I never touched it. But the blame was put upon me and I suffered the consequences.
The healing process:
Renew your mind: Work to change your beliefs. Meditate on Scripture that says you are loved and free from shame and guilt.
Make declarations from the following scriptures:
Psalm 149:4, Jeremiah 29:11, Song of Solomon 1:15-16, I John 1:9
We need to learn to separate our earthly father's sin against us by recognizing that he was being used by the enemy to harm us
Forgiveness is essential
We must forgive our earthly fathers for their abuse.
Make a list and forgive him for each issue
Forgiveness: we are not letting him off the hook but we purging the defilement and abuse from our souls
A sign that you have forgiven someone that hurt you is that you no longer have a negative reaction to the person who hurt you
Ask God to heal memories where the hurt is buried in our hearts
Ask God to love you and speak truth to your pain
The Lesson:
Learn to live motivated by acceptance and affirmation not guilt and shame
The key scripture: Romans 8:1-2
8 There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who[a] do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. 2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death.
3. The third false belief:
I believe connecting/bonding with God is impossible
The lie I believe about myself:
Rejection is my reality. When I need God the most He is not there for me.
The fear:
I will be rejected when I try to connect with God
The thinking:
I was abandoned and rejected by my father as a child and I must protect myself from experiencing the hurt of rejection.
Every time I try to get close to God something bad happens or it doesn’t work.
I created walls in my heart to protect myself from being hurt or disappointed.
Intimacy is impossible.
I don’t like to experience my emotions. That’s why I shut them down.
It’s too hard to stay close to God that’s why I don’t pray.
I would rather work hard than get quiet and try to hear God’s voice.
I am afraid to know what God thinks of me.
The father type: the absentee father
Your father was not present in the home.
He was away for work, for his personal pleasure, or he was at home but silent on important issues for the family.
You felt rejected because he did not support you or play a role in your life.
He was never at important events in your life: sports, graduation, special events
He made no effort to tell you he loved you
He was not available to talk with you about your struggles or needs
He was shut down emotionally or a strict disciplinarian
Example:
My dad traveled for work and when he was home we walked on eggshells to avoid his anger. He was never involved in the small things or the important moments in my life.
The healing process:
Renew your mind: Work to change your beliefs. Meditate on Scripture that speaks to your fear of rejection and abandonment.
Make declarations from the following scriptures:
I John 4:18, Romans 8:35, John 16:27, Psalm 27:10
We need to learn to separate our earthly father’s rejection does not determine our worth
Forgiveness is essential
We must forgive our earthly fathers for their rejection and abandonment.
Remember the experiences that caused you to feel rejected by your father and take time to forgive him for those situations
Forgiveness: we are choosing to release our earthly fathers for not being there for us when we needed them the most
Ask God to heal memories where the hurt is buried in our hearts
Ask God to love you and speak truth to your pain
The key scripture:
When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things
The Father’s Love Prayer/declaration: Pray this prayer over yourself out loud
Father God I thank you for loving me with perfect love
I am a good son/daughter
I am special
I am the apple of your eye
I am your happy thought
I am completely forgiven for my sins
I am thankful that nothing can separate me from your love
I am thankful that you are proud of me.
Thank you Father God for showing me your love.